8/30/09

DW Rule Number 171

If you're going to have sex in a public place, don't throw the evidence where a kid can find it-that's wrong on several levels.

DW Rule Number 170

Throw a blanket down, rug burn is never fun.

DW Rule Number 169

If your friends dad hits on you, don't be flattered, he's just a dirty old man-it's gross.

DW Rule Number 168

DWs are pro-choice, but there are plenty of ways to not get knocked up in the first place, go with those.

DW Rule Number 167

If you're not sure who the baby daddy is, you do NOT have to go on Maury to find out, drugstores carry a do-it-yourself kit.

DW Rule Number 166

Waiting to see if a stick turns blue can be the longest three minutes of your life.

DW Rule Number 165

Some of your friends want to have kids. The appropriate response when one of them announces she's pregnant is not always "oh girl, what happened?"

DW Rule Number 164

Just because you can't hear anybody, doesn't mean no one can hear you.

DW Rule Number 163

Nobody likes librarian sex-silence is not always golden.

DW Rule Number 162

If you send him a dirty pic of you, he's going to show his friends. Don't be pissed, you know you've showed your DWs all the pics of his junk saved to your memory card.

DW Rule Number 161

After 3 dinners and a movie, he shouldn't expect you to put out, but you should expect him to.

DW Rule Number 160

Being covered in his sweat can be gross.

DW Rule Number 159

Mama's boys-some play for the other team, the rest will make you scream.

8/23/09

DW Rule Number 158

Most scruffy faced boys don't know how to not leave a rash.

8/21/09

DW Rule Number 157

If he's wearing crocks. . . and socks. . . he might be gay, proceed with caution.

8/20/09

DW Rule Number 156

Changing your facebook status to "single" is an acceptable way to break up with him, especially when he's a douchebag.

8/18/09

DW Rule Number 155

A DW is perfectly balanced. Just enough good girl to impress his mom and dad-and just enough bad girl to be the best he ever had.

DW Rule Number 154

Don't mess with another chicks man-unless of course she's stupid.

DW Rule Number 153

Dirty whores have dirty sex. Period.

DW Rule Number 152

DWs don't chase dick. Ever.

8/15/09

DW Rule Number 151

If he thinks he's using you, whatever-let him-you and your DWs know the truth.

DW Rule Number 150

If you go backstage, you're expected to perform.

DW Rule Number 149

Have morals, but no shame.

DW Rule Number 148

Jam out with your clam out.

8/11/09

DW Rule Number 147

DWs ALWAYS bring the fun.

DW Rule Number 146

Do your Kegels because yes, your junk can fall out when you get old.

DW Rule Number 145

An experienced DW always carries lube.

DW Rule Number 144

If he blows you off-sleep with his friends, then he can hear about what he missed out on.

DW Rule Number 143

Go ahead and babysit tonight, it's free birth control.

8/10/09

DW Rule Number 142

Bad boys will also break your heart, don't fall for him.

DW Rule Number 141

Bad boys are more fun.

DW Rule Number 140

Tilex will not take blood out of carpet.

DW Rule Number 139

Have a spare key to your good handcuffs.

DW Rule Number 138

If your best friends parents have mirrors above their king bed, use it to your advantage-it's not like it's your parents.

DW Rule Number 137

Have your things neatly stacked for a quick exit.

DW Rule Number 136

If you wake up next to a guy and your head, back, and thighs hurt-you know you had a good night.

DW Rule Number 135

Waking up in a strange place isn't necessarily trashy! Sometimes it's fun trying to recall where exactly your vehicle is.

DW Rule Number 134

Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing.

DW Rule Number 133

When he offers to buy you a drink, make it top shelf. If he buys you another, you're good to go.

DW Rule Number 132

It's ok to spike his drink to loosen him up.

DW Rule Number 131

There's nothing wrong with a sympathy fuck now and again, it's good sexual karma.

DW Rule Number 130

If there is no attempt for a kiss on the first date, he's either gay or a pussy, either way there is no need for date number two.

DW Rule Number 129

If a guy comes up to you with the "nice shirt wanna fuck" line. Do it. Most of the time he wouldn't say it if he couldn't back it up.

DW Rule Number 128

No one likes a tease.

DW Rule Number 127

Keep an overnight bag in your trunk-it will come in handy.

DW Rule Number 126

Laser hair removal is forever.

DW Rule Number 125

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." -Marilyn Monroe

DW Rule Number 124

If y'all can move the furniture, keep hittin that.

DW Rule Number 123

Remember, classy not trashy.

DW Rule Number 122

Straight girls will kiss other girls (see DW Rule 111) after enough cocktails.